My Final Decision

Lots of thing had happened.

I was brought to the highest level of happiness, and someone actually pushed me down, telling me that everything doesn't belongs to me.

I'm shock.
I'm angry.
I'm sad.
I'm confuse.
I'm scare.
I'm nervous.
I'm jealous.
I'm selfish.
I'm losing my mind.

I lost my direction.
I don't know what to do next.
I don't know what will happen next.

I feel guilty.
I feel bad.
I feel like crying.
I feel like scolding someone.
I feel like hitting someone / something to release my anger and disappointment.
I feel like getting crazy.
I feel like killing myself.

I regret cause I wasn't born earlier.
I regret cause I'm not able to leave, and indirectly hurt innocent people.

Everything went back to the time when I'm still 17 years old,
where I'm not able to make a proper decision,
where I'm insisted my own choice thou everyone is objecting it,
where I still believe in commitments and promises.

I decided to stay.
Agree or disagree is all up to you.
I'm old enough to handle the responsibilities and results from my decision.
I don't need anyone to help me to decide my life.
Good or bad I won't be showing off or complaining.
Just let me be what I want to be.
I know I'll be regretted if I never try to fight for the thing I want.
I know this will be tough for me but I'm sure I'll be much tougher to face all the challenges.

Support me if you agree with me.
Ignore me if you're disagree or trying to be sarcastic.
Just put yourself in my shoes and stop calling me with all those bad names.

I will be staying for half year,
and this is my final decision.